“We’re really excited about our new online ordering form,” said Subway spokesman, Paul Morrison. “Our customers can now quickly order a sandwich filled with lukewarm chicken, and three week-old cheese right from home.”
Morrison said that all the items on Subways sub-par menu will be offered on the online order form.
“We don’t want our customers to worry. If they want a sandwich with crab that has been dead for a year and a half, well you better believe they will be getting that old crab sandwich.”
The menu will also feature unrefrigerated Mayonnaise, rotten turkey, and roast beef that smells like unwashed feet.
Morrison also said that even though there will be not “as much” customer-employee interaction, he hopes that Subway employees will show the same “I don’t give a shit”…
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